Chuck Norris geek jokes

So stupid, yet so funny…

When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it’s across the room.
All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.
Chuck Norris doesn’t need garbage collection because he doesn’t call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().
Chuck Norris’s first program was kill -9.
Chuck Norris burst the dot com bubble.
Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.
Chuck Norris doesn’t bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
Chuck Norris can divide by 0.
Chuck Norris doesn’t need “sudo”, he just types “Chuck Norris” before his commands.
Chuck Norris doesn’t need a debugger, he just stares down the bug until the code confesses.
Chuck Norris can access private methods.
Chuck Norris can instantiate an abstract class.
Chuck Norris doesn’t pair program.
Chuck Norris can write multi-threaded applications with a single thread.
There is no Esc key on Chuck Norris’ keyboard, because no one escapes Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can inherit from sealed/final classes.
Chuck Norris doesn’t needs try-catch, exceptions are too afraid to raise.
Chuck Norris went out of an infinite loop.
Chuck Norris’s keyboard has the Any key.
Chuck Norris protocol design method has no status, requests or responses, only commands.
Chuck Norris can make void functions return a value.
There is only one person standing in a Chuck Norris scrum meeting.
Chuck Norris considers Sprints futile. He’ll catch you anyway.
Product Owners never ask Chuck Norris for more features. They ask for mercy.

And many more on CodeSqueeze


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